free reverie

i received a comment on my last post which inspired this post.

the commenter responded:

Karma is not about truth, and often can be adverse to it. It is mechanical, as you said, a prison. Nor is it contingent upon who we are, as we are all intrinsically good people. And yet people may spend lifetimes trapped in bad karmic loops. When one doesn’t feel good about themselves, or when they allow others to make them feel bad about themselves, they may allow bad karma to affect them. Eternal vigilance is the price of virtue. Leave karma to itself, or guard your own. How about a post on the nature of truth?

and i say:

karma has everything to do with truth. it is the ultimate truth. it is not contingent upon who we are in that it is completely out of our control. You cannot guard your own karma; it is impossible, and besides, it is not yours to guard.

people often mistake social behavior with karma, because social interaction has karma-like tendencies. bad things do happen to good people, but bad things tend to happen more frequently to bad people (or people who do bad things, for as you said we are all intrinsically good people.) People who do bad things alienate themselves from others due to the bad energy they bring into the world, which spirals into a vicious cycle of feeling bad, channelling that emotion by doing more bad things, and inciting bad reactions which perpetuate the negative emotion. Many potentially good people frustrate themselves when they are tangled in this spiral because they continue to commit actions that result in the opposite of their inherently good intentions. Only those with strong will and emotional fortitude have the ability to lift themselves above it. They know not to let the negativity they encounter (for there are many caught in bad energy loops) affect them, and channel it in positive ways.

truth is relative to scale. on a karmic level, it is objective. on a human level, it is more subjective and fluid. for more thoughts on the latter, you should check out my thesis blog, freereverie.org/neticulum. i’ve been posting a lot lately on the nature of collective knowledge, which is inexorably linked with human conceptions of truth. as for the former, it is one of the only truths we will ever know (and at the same time can never know). karma is fate, it is kismet, it is fortune, and we are bound to it regardless of our mortal activity. though to our limited human perception it may at times seem unfair or arbitrary, it is in the long run just and directed. in order to honor the ultimate truth of karma, we must be truthful in what we can control – our human interactions. human energy exchanges reward honesty, even when it comes at a price. sometimes the truth hurts. we would rather believe – and have others believe – false truths that suit us, rather than actual truths that expose our weaknesses and shortcomings. and sometimes we get away with promoting false truths to others, especially the gullible, the vulnerable, and the weak of mind. but we cannot fool the intelligent, the perceptive, and those who know secret things; they can see through the propaganda. these are the people who will help you grow and flourish, because they are not satiated by excuses or false justifications; they won’t put up with your bullshit. they are the kind of people we should be and surround ourselves with. it’s not always easy; especially those with regrets and demons have a tendency to want to believe in convenient realities so badly that they fool themselves into actually believing them. they need only realize that to stop deluding others and depriving themselves of honest, productive, and positive social interaction, they must stop deluding themselves. its painful to have your fantasy world crash down upon you in shambles, but it is the only way to break the loop and actually make something of yourself. ignorance is not bliss; it is hell. a hell that is tempting but lures people into spiritual apathy. truth is the ultimate weapon of human (both collective and individual) progress. we must not only cleanse the doors of perception, but turn them inward, for one who is opaque to themself can never be pure.

Karma pays all debts in full immediately. No interest. There is no cheating and no taking more than you deserve. There is no easy way and there are no shortcuts. And there is no escape. There is no way out; that is the escape. Or is it? No, the escape is accepting and letting go. You can only play the game; you cannot win.

We miss this sometimes because the mind equates survival with winning and losing. It wants to construct a formula within the moment to allow the self to take more than it gives. The mind needs to feed, so it takes from the moment, trying to construct its own game separate from karma. It clouds our pure, unadulterated perception of the moment. It takes out feelings and gives us its demons. Anxiety. Insanity. Fear. Lack.

The mind is like a whining child. It doesn’t want to shut up. It wants to distract your attention and claim it for its own. It wants to prove that it deserves all the energy. it is selfish. The mind enslaves us by monopolizing our focus; it eclipses the soul, which we can then only understand through silhouette.

We are in a prison, karmically, as a species.

The mind is trying to be different. It needs to feel special. It needs meaning. Desperately. It seeks this meaning by demanding judgment, searching fruitlessly for an eternal “should-be.” It is endlessly constructing frameworks in which to situate itself, to understand and manipulate to persevere. But this quest for control is futile; our mind’s formulas are powerless to the forces of karma. Deep emotion, pure and unfiltered emotion, is put on hold so that the mind can figure out… figure out what? How to remember. How to remember to get back to the moment it is escaping. It is insanity. Nothing is gained. So what is lost? The moment. The same infinite moment. We do not feel it; instead, we study it and remember it, all so we can use that knowledge to make ourselves better. But what is better? The moment is infinite.

Consciousness does not end at you and begin at me. Those are lines drawn around our bodies. But they do not matter; the constellations do not dictate the movement of the stars. Consciousness is fluid. In order to float its depths we need the energy the mind is wasting by trying to differentiate itself. We must remember the similarities beneath our differences. We cannot deny self-recognition; we are unique. Identity is a dividing into parts, and is a reality of existence; but these parts do not need to be separate from each other. Boundaries exist, but they are as transient as lines drawn in the sand of a tide pool. They can collapse back easily; if they become solid, then they can block the flow. There are differences in the egos, in our personalities. But our deeper consciousness – it is one. We are all one. And we forget because we are afraid. Afraid to die? To die to the self is to be born as infinite.

But we feel so strongly that we need the lines. So we draw them, and play and organize and point to the past, recalling memories, trying to remember. We are trying to plan for the future, trying to learn, trying to construct something using our memories and our amassed knowledge. It is useful; it aids us in fulfilling our needs, ensuring that we can experience this moment and future moments. But it is a tool gone crazy. We can and should let it aid us in nourishing ourselves, but why do we let it take our souls? The framework of the world in which we operate is not always friendly. We must respond to lots of games created by lots of minds, which usually requires creating our own games. It is a charade that we have to follow – but only to an extent. The mind arises and it settles; it is up to us to remind it to be humble. We must learn to hush the whimpers of our needy mind. All is balance; the need is the unbalance. We need nothing; we are already there. We need to survive, or, at least, it is our nature to try to do so; but consciousness will keep going.

The goal is to bridge the gap between our own survival and consciousness, because at their core they are the same. Why do we do things to feel something instead of doing them with feeling? I don’t want to choose to leave this moment, because why would I leave the feeling to try to find it again? Silly humans, asking questions to answer them but the answer was already there before the question; it’s with the question. It need only be asked and it is done.